Part 7, Bill's Makeover

As Bill sits on the stool in living room, he watches as Pam circles him. Her eyes are clearly on that mop on the top of his head. Bill finds himself wondering if the attraction is mutual."It must be" he thinks. Bill does think very highly of himself. Bill has had many lovers in his past. Well according to him anyway.* Eye Roll*  Not as many as that smoking hot viking, Eric Northman.  But then again , no one living or undead can measure up to Northman. Bill locks eye contact with Pam and flashes a grin. Nothing. No reaction from Pam. "What if I wink at her? ", Bill thinks to himself. Once again Pam comes around in view of his eyes. Bill winks. Pam stops dead in her tracks. " Bat Boy, please tell me that you have something in your eye. I'm in no mood for your fuckery".  Bill gasps and tries to come up with a quick and witty response. He's too late Pam has now turned her attention to Lafayette.

Pam: " Lafayette, I'm starting to think we need to just shave his head". * picking up his manbangs*

Bill: * Letting out a gasp* : "Ah... Pam.. I do not believe that is necessary. You see that my hair...."

Pam: * placing her right pointer finger to her lips* " Shhhhh" * This gets Bill a bit excited*

Lafaytte: * Looking at Bill's hair* : "Yeah, I second that".

Bill: " I will politely disagree with you both. My hair is just in need of a trim.... that's all".

Lafayette: * looks at Pam, then back at Bill* : 'Look Dracula.. You've dyed your hair so much and so often ... you need a fresh start".

Pam: * Arms crossed and grinning* : " You could be just like Brittany Spears".

Everyone let's out a giggle.

Bill: * makes a face* : " Comparing me to a woman? Who is this Spears person?"

The whole room, except for Pam are in disbelief.

Jessica: * sitting on the couch with Tara* : "Wait! Wait! You don't know who Brittany Spears is?"

Tara: * stuffing herself still with the fruit tray* " Aren't you suppose to be mainstreaming?"

Pam: " I'm not surprised" * looking at Bill with pity*

Bill: " Are you done mocking me? " *pause in the air* " Well then, who is she?"

Lafayette * Brushing Bill's hair" : " She's a pop star. Her music is the bomb.* Starts to hum, " Womanizer"* , " Anyway, one day she shaved her head Bald. Like Sined O' Connor."

Bill: " Who's Sined O'Connor"

Lafayette * Stops and looks at Bill*: " Hooker, you can't be serious?"

Tara: "Wait! Wait! You're kidding?"

Bill * shaking his head up and down* : "I am not in jesting mood" * Glances at Pam and notices she looking right him. " I can feel the heat", Bill thinks to himself, "There's hope".

Pam: "You claim that your mainstreaming, yet you have no idea who these woman are. "

Bill: * crossing his leg and grinning at Pam* : "Unlike your maker , Mr. Northman, I educated myself on important matters. Such as global warming and our tensions with North Korea. I don't have time for such pop culture nuggets".

Pam: * bending over with her hands on her knees*: " Look Billy, this is why you're not getting laid. You're fucking boring".

Bill: * looking deeply in her blue eyes*: " How am I boring? I thought you ladies prefer to have a man speak to them as equals?"

Pam: * Stands up*: " We do. However, asking a woman on a first date about" * in her best Bill voice* " My dear, what are your thoughts on Kim Jung Li? "

Lafayette: "That pocket size motherfucker scares the shit out of me".

Bill: * Gives Lafayette the side eye*: " So Pam, what's wrong with that? "

Pam: " What I'm trying to say is sometimes..... talking about fluff topics can break the ice".

Bill: * frowning* " I do not concur Pamela".

Pam: : * making a face* : "What have I told you about calling me that?"

Bill rolls his eyes.

Lafayette: " Look we can introduce Bill to Dlisted later".

Bill: " D who?"

Lafayette: " Never mind. Jessica, you got any electric clippers? "

Jessica : " No, but Hoyt has some. I'll text him". * Jessica starts to text him.

Lafayette:* grinning* " Bill, you know what texting is, right?"

Bill gives him a dirty look and doesn't answer him. Jessica's phone beeps. She picks it up.

Jessica: * looking at phone* " Awesome! Hoyt's bringing them over."

Lafayette: "Once he gets here, we'll shave Bill's hair."

Bill: "Excuse me, I'm right here. Do I not get a say in this?"

Pam: "No. Now just sit there and be quiet".

And of course... Bill does.