Bill discovers Oprah... *eye roll*

As you know, Trubies, Bill is the world's worst "Maker".  After "turning" Jessica, Bat Boy dumps her at Eric and Pam's. Eventually, Eric returns Jessica to her maker. As Eric reminds Bill, 'There are favors, then there are favors".  So like any crappy "maker", Bill ignores Jessica. Of course now that Sookie has come to her senses and finally dumped Bill. There's not much for Bat Boy to do except for recycle and play golf on his Wii. Then he watches a very special episode of "Oprah" on his DVR. Jessica's gonna wish he NEVER did.

Jessica comes in before dawn , after spending the night with her boyfriend Hoyt. Bill is sitting on his couch, wiping his bloody croc tears from eyes.

Jessica: "Bill, you okay?"

Bill: "Yes, my child... *breathing deeply* Have you ever seen this "Oprah" show?"

Jessica: " Ahh, yeah, she's been on for ...like... forever..Did you just find out about this? I DVR it everyday."

Bill: *blowing his nose* "No, I just have never really watched it before... it's.. soo.. I can not find the words that describe how inspiring this woman is.. *tears roll down his face*..."

Jessica: "Yeah, she rocks, dude. She's like AWESOME! Plus she like rules the world. I'm not kidding.

Bill: " I just watched a weeks worth while you were out. I'm emotionally drained. * giggles* Drained. Get it?"

Jessica: "Yeah.. you're so lame."

Bill: *grunts a bit* " Well I know....I'm no Jack Benny... but I know that can deliver a pun with the best of them'.

Jessica "Who? "

Bill: * waving his hand* "Never mind"

Jessica: "Okay.. like goodnight Bill.."

Bill: "Ah, Jessica , may I have a word with you?"

Jessica: *rolling her eyes* "What?" *whining a bit

Bill: *patting sofa* "Please join me my dear... on the sofa."

Jessica : * looking at cell phone* "Okay, but I wanted to call Hoyt before bed."

Bill: * Looking puzzled* "But you just spent the evening with him"

Jessica: " And?"

Bill: " My dear, as your maker, I'm concerned that our bond is not as strong as it once was".

Jessica: * Looking at Bill with disgust* " Bill, like what are you talking about?"

Bill: "Well, my child I feel I have disappointed you.."

* Jessica puts her hand up to his face*

Jessica : "Look, we don't have a bond. You're like so lame. You turn me and then dump me with Pam and Eric. Which was like fun, but ... then I end up back here. With like your stupid rule about drinking only True Blood. By the way....that shit taste like Tuna Helper. "

Bill: " Look my dear.. I feel your anger... you see because I'm Vampire and your my child..."

*Jessica puts hand back up*

Jessica: "I know your a vampire dumb ass. Everybody knows your a "fucking vampire". And don't call me your child. Guess who taught me about drinking human blood ? Pam".

* Bill gasp*

Jessica: "That's right, Bill. She also told me how to get rid of the first guy I ever killed. Oh ,and she taught me about Spanx too...  ** smiles** "Pam .....sooo rocks!"

Bill: 'Well I'm deeply sorry ... * clearing his throat* "I have disappointed you as your maker."

Jessica: "Yeah, well..you should be".

Bill: *smiling a bit* "I would like to start anew with you. I'd like to become the maker that you, my child deserve."

Jessica: *smiling* "Yeah, sure, I guess... what do you have in mind?"

Bill: "Well Oprah has this thing called a "Book Club". I thought we might be able to start one together. "

Jessica- * rolling her eyes* - "You can't be serious?"

Bill: " Oh yes, my dear... Perhaps "Eat, Pray, Love" as our first book... have you heard of it?"

Jessica: *getting up off the couch* "Yeah, can we talk about this later? I need to call Hoyt".

Bill: " Well of course , my child..."

*Jessica walking up the stairs... Bill stands at the bottom of them*

Bill- " Well I look forward to continuing.. are .. ah.. talk... I look forward to our Maker, child bonding time... It will be..."

Jessica slams her bedroom door.