Jessica calls Pam about giving Bill a makeover

Jessica being concern that her "maker" is spending his evening playing Wii and recycling his True Blood bottles. She decides that he needs a girlfriend. Now Jessica knows that his outdated clothes and man bangs will not get him laid. So she contacts the coolest person she knows.....Besides Eric.........her idol......  Pam.

Ring, Ring....

Pam: "Fangtasia, where sex with the dead meets the living...... unless of course... you're ugly as shit."

Jesscia: *giggles* "Hey, Pam , it's Jess."

Pam: " Hey girlfriend, what are you up to this crappy evening? Bill got you trimming his toes nails?"

Jessica: "Gross. Ah, no. But I am calling about Bill."

Pam: * Letting out a sigh* "I thought we were friends?"

Jessica: "Yeah, sorry, but I need your help."

Pam: *Perking up* : "Please tell me he met the sun and you need help getting rid of the ashes. That would be like Christmas morning... if I gave a shit about Christmas."

Jessica: "Sorry, Pam. Yeah, I wanted you to help me give Bill a make-over."

Silent pause. Then Pam starts laughing.

Pam: "Jess... You know Sookie's with Eric, right? "

Jessica: "Yeah, yeah... that ship has sailed. Besides, Bill vs Eric.... Yeah, that's easy. Cuz Bill is sooo not Eric. DUH!"

Pam: "No kidding. "

Jessica: * Playing with her hair* :" It's just that Bill is lonely. All he does is play Wii and his recycling. I ...mean like.. creepy Franklin comes over and stuff..."

Pam: * Cutting Jessica off*: "Franklin? Mott?"

Jessica: "You know him?"

Pam * doing a full body shiver*: "Yeah, there's a reason why I sleep with women now. The guy's a fucking freak."

Jessica: "OMG! I know! He asked me to give him a lap dance. Gross!"

Pam: * Getting a serious tone to her voice* : "Don't let that freak touch you! Figures Bleeh, likes to hang out with Franklin. Look Jess, I'm gonna use a line Jim Morrison once told me..."

Jessica * gasping* "Wait, you knew Jim Morrison?"

Pam: *smiling*: "Knew him? Honey, I fucked him left ways to side ways. Anyway, Jim told me "You can't soar like an eagle, when you fly with turkeys". He also told me my vagina was like nirvana and pink lemonade all at once."

Jessica: *sighing* " You are even cooler than Eric".

Pam: "I know. Don't tell him that. Deep down inside, he's all mush."

Jessica: "Wow."

Pam: " Look Jess, what did you have in mind for Bleeh? You know..... we could cut those man bangs and get him some pants that fit..... but we can't fix asshole."

Jessica: *whines* " But maybe he wouldn't be SUCH an asshole, if he had a girlfriend."

Pam:* Filing her nails*: "Have you forgotten about his relationship with Sookie? "

Jessica: "yeah, but I think he's willing to change. Right?"

Pam: " You keep living that fantasy."

Jessica: "Okay."

Pam: * sighing* "Look doll, let me think about it. You're lucky I like you".

Jessica * jumping up and down* : "You totally rule!"

Pam: " I know. I gotta go. Some hot burnette just came in an lavendar dress. That happens to be my favorite color."

Jessica: "Okay, cool. Later"

Pam: "Yeah, later..."

Click.