Bill still hot for Pam.....

It's been a few months since Bill Compton has seen Pam. Like the old saying says, "Absence does make  the heart grow fonder." Night after night, his thoughts are all about Pam. Well...... here's what happened. King of the Vampires, Russell Edgington, shortly before Valentine's Day sent Bill on assignment in Ohio. Apparently, word has gotten out that some clinic out there claims it can "cure" vampires. Turns them back to humans is the claim. Word is it's The Church of Sun at it again. Russell put Bill on the case. So he's out of town. More on that later.......but here's what's been going on with Bill's obsession with Pam.

It was a typical night at Fangtasia. Crowded with fang bangers looking to hook up. Vampires looking for their next meal. Tourist wearing their teva sandals and trying to figure out who's dead and who's alive. Ginger's at the bar wearing a dress that was a bit too tight and heels that are too high. Ahhh, sweet Ginger. Mixing her drinks and not noticing when a tourist would snap pictures of her ass, as she shakes it to whatever, DJ "Dipshit", as Pam calls him, would spin. Yeah, another night. Like all nights there. Pam was at her usual spot by the door. Looking as sexy as ever. Classic Levi, red tank top and a pair of 5 inch black strappy sandals. Her hair pulled up in a tight ponytail. Casual but still sexy.

As she scanned the room, she could see there was no one to feed on tonight. The thought of a dinner of "True Blood" made her sick to her stomach. Almost like imagining herself having to listen to Ginger go on and on about her up coming Disney Cruise again.  Oh, just yesterday, Ginger was telling Pam all about it.  " Pam, I can't tell you how excited I am. I just need to get Donald and Goofy's autograph on this trip. And let me tell you my autograph book will be complete".  Pam of course had to burst her bubble and remind her, " You know your getting autograph's from people inside costumes, right?". It took an hour and some glamouring to get Ginger to calm down.

Pam had enough and headed to the back room. Her maker, Eric, was at his desk. " Ah, Pam, why does it always seem that I'm going through the mail. I'm not the only one who's works here" he reminded her as she walked through the back door. As Pam sat down on the couch, she of course had an answer for him, "Isn't that Ginger's job?" Eric leaned back in his chair, " You know damn well... that I would never let Ginger handle any mail. Especially the bills". Pointing his long right index finger at her, " Remember when I asked her give me change for a $1 once ?" Pam gives him a blank look. "Remember? " he nudges her with his words, "she gave me 84 cents back? ". Pam lets out a sigh. "And you also remember that's why we hired, Marty." Motioning with his hands, " To ring up all the orders at the bar?". Pam again blank stare. " You know the short, fat guy with the cock eye and the bad tattoos?" "Yeah, yeah", Pam replied. Eric rolls his eyes at her, "What seems to be the problem, Pamela? " Again no answer. "Well it can't be PMS. Hmmm. Hungry perhaps?". Pam let's out a sigh. " I'm just in a mood".

Eric continues looking through the bills and says, "Please Pam, you really need to on top of these things when I'm out". Pam is now sitting with her arms crossed and not saying anything. Eric looks up and sees that his "child" isn't getting it. "Pam, I'm serious. You're too important to me. I need you on top of these things".  "Fine" , Pam replies and starts heading to the door. " Fine, fine. I'm sorry. It's just after 100 years, I think you should cut me some slack". She looks back and sees that her maker is looking at an envelope very intently. "What is it?" Pam asks. Eric looks up give her a grin. " What?" , she asks again.  Still ginning Eric replies, "Looks like it's a note from....Compton." Holding up the envelope, " Is there something I should know about?" Pam's white face becomes a bit flushed. She can see that her maker has noticed. "Fine. But I don't want to hear I told you so."

Pam comes over to the desk and sits at the corner. "Remember when I helped Jessica with Bill's makeover?". Eric puts his hands up and moves his fingers to signal quotation marks , as he says, " And by "makeover" you mean getting him clothes that fit". Pam makes a face, "We cut his hair too". Eric starts grinning, "And....". Pam gets up and start walking around the room, " I think he may have gotten the wrong idea". Eric now looks serious, " What do you mean wrong idea?" Pam replies, " Well......He keeps leaving me voice mails. He even sent me flowers once to the club, while you were in Finland . He  said he brought me a gift back from Peru". Pam can feel her palms getting sweaty, " I called him and told him to leave me alone and that I was not interested. I guess he can't take no for an answer".

Eric gets up and walks toward Pam. He puts his hands on her shoulders, " Do you need me to speak with him?" Pam looks up at her maker, " Oh, thank you. I'm sorry to get you involved in this mess. I should have listened to you in the first place". Suddenly Pam's eyes, fill with tears. Bloody vampire tears. Eric embraces Pam and says, "Shhhhh, please don't cry. When I get through with Manbangs he'll never bother you again".  Pam wipes her eyes and looks up at her maker, "Are you going to kill him?". Eric gives her a toothy grin, "Nah. I'm just going to have a word with him. That's all". Sure, Eric, sure.

Hello & Sorry

My darlings, I'm soooo sorry, that I have not posted in soooooo long. Long story short , it's been a very busy 4 months for me. For starters my family and I moved to a new state and things are back to normal now. I will not leave you hanging much longer. As Bill and his pathetic self will be back in action soon.

Viking Kisses,
-Suzy-

Bill's has a new look but he's still pathetic........

It's been about a month since Bill's had his makeover. Jessica has convinced Bill to join , VampireMatch.com. So far he's been on a few dates. Yeah, he looks better but he's still as dull as dish water. So.... no repeat dates. That's alright with Bill. There's just one vampire on his mind.....Pam.

The Queen sent Bill down to Peru for two weeks ago for some "official business." No one for sure knows what that is. I'm sure it's something sleazy and underhanded. That's Compton's style. While in Lima, he bought Pam a lovely gift. Bill couldn't wait to present it to her.

Bill returns to his ancestral home on all nights.... Super Bowl Sunday. As Bill pulls up in his driveway, he notices Hoyt's pick-up is there. Bill let's out a grunt. It's not that he doesn't like Hoyt. Bill was hoping he could return to a quiet home. Maybe relax with a True Blood, maybe turn some Kenny G. on. And of course...plan his seduction of Pam Ravenscroft. As Bill turns the key into the lock, he could hear the TV on full blast and lots of yelling. Bill let's in a deep breath and walks in. Bill's plans would have to wait.

The first thing Bill sees is Hoyt. He's sitting on Bill's red couch wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. Hoyt has his legs stretched out on Bill's grandmother's coffee table. Bill notices a beer on the table. The can is sweaty and dripping all over the table with NO coaster. Not to mention the worst part, Hoyt has one hand in a bag of chips and the other is scratching his balls. Bill could feel his fangs about to come out, when Hoyt spots him.

Hoyt: " Hey there, Vampire Bill! You're just in time! The half time show is about to start."

Bill: * Let's out a grunt* " Yes, well games of violence do not interest me. Can you please use a coaster on that table. My great-grandfather made that table as a wedding gift for my parents."

Hoyt: * looks at the table* " Okay... but I ain't sure how's that gonna help... there's a big ring on the table already."

Bill closes his eyes. Trying to remember the mantra that his maker , Lorena taught him at times like this. " Must not attack. A morons blood is not good for your digestion". Just then Jessica comes through the kitchen door holding a True Blood and a bowl of cheese dip.

Jessica: * Shocked to see him* " Oh, Bill!  You're home!!! "

Bill: " Yes, I left you a message on the answering machine 2 days ago."

Hoyt: * Licking his finger* " Oh, hell, I remember hearing that message. I think I may have erased it . My bad."

Bill* Feeling his blood boiling* - "Why would you erase it?"

Jessica: " Well... Hoyt's been staying here ,while you've been gone and I told him to check the messages during the day, while I slept. No big deal. Welcome back! "

Bill: " Thank you, my child. I'll leave you two... *grunts*... to watch these barbarians. I shall retreat to my parlor to read my mail and so forth."

Hoyt: " Barbarians? Hell, Bill ! I thought you'd love football and all."

Bill: *giving Hoyt a condescending look* " Now why on Earth would I enjoy this?"

Hoyt: " Well...* giving Bill a goofy smile* " Being a Viking and all... you may have seen Rome and stuff. You know with Daniel from the bible and them lions in the den."

Jessica:* hitting Hoyt on the shoulder* "No, no ... " *smiles at Bill* " Honey, I think you're confused. Bill is from Civil War times. * whispering* " Eric is the viking".

Hoyt: * Looks at Jessica confused*: " Oh....So.... Eric seen them lions?"

Bill: " Hoyt.... *takes a deep breath* " because you are my child's beau, I shall ignore your unbelievably, bad knowledge of world history. Now.... where is my mail?."

Jessica: " On the kitchen counter".

As Bill heads into the kitchen, Jessica waits till he's in the kitchen to scold Hoyt.

Jessica: "What is wrong with you? "

Hoyt: "What?" *stuffing himself with more chips*

Jessica: " You can not make that mistake again. Bill is very sensitive about Eric.

Hoyt stares blankly at Jessica

Jessica: "You know..." * moving her hands* " With Eric being older, better looking , dating Sookie. Get it?"

Hoyt: " Oh yeah... * stares out into space for a moment*.." I get it now. Sorry, Jess. I won't do it no more."

Jessica gives him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Hoyt: " Hell, I can understand why Bill's so insecure. Hell, I'm 100% heterosexual.... as you know. *Winks* " And hell... I'd let Eric have his way with he me. That Eric Northman is damn sexy."

Of course, years of Hoyt working on county roads with no ear protection, has caused Hoyt to be quite hard of hearing. Plus Hoyt doesn't know how to whisper.... so of course...Bill heard him. "Deep breath. Must not attack. A morons blood is not good for your digestion". And so the mantra is repeated over and over again by the Pathetic Bill Compton.