Part 8, Bill's Makeover

Bill Compton sits on the stool with both his legs and arms crossed. Bill is staring at the floor in his parlor ,wondering to himself,  how the hell did he allow his vampire "child", Jesscia, to talk him into this.  Here's a vampire that has for nearly two decades had no problems getting what he wants. Well... that's not really true. He lied and cheated on Sookie and lost her to the ultimate vampire, Eric Northman. Yes, but before Sookie, he remembers getting lot's of action. Well that's not true either. Bill was in a monogamous relationship , well by vampire standards, for about a hundred years with Lorena. Maybe Bill's not the player he thinks he is. Just as Bill gets his "AH HA moment" ( yes, he's obsession with Oprah may have helped him after all), Hoyt is at the door with the electric clippers.

Jessica opens the front doors and welcomes her "bubba-boy", ( yeah, that's her nickname for him. I know, gag me), with kisses. Pam looks over at them and declares, " If I wanted to see The Notebook, I'd rent it. Can you two cut the crap and let's cut Bat Boy's hair already".

Hoyt and Jessica stop their kissing and walk into the parlor hand in hand. Handing the clippers to Pam who's finishing her text message to her maker, Eric. The text reads, " Hey Boss, I should taken you up on your offer and had you video taped this. We could have been a YouTube hit".

Hoyt: *smiling* " Hey y'all! Vampire Bill, having fun yet?"

Bill grunts and keep his eyes on the floor.

Lafayette: * giving Hoyt the side eye and in a dead pan voice* : " Yeah, it's like Christmas Morning around here"

Hoyt: " Yeah, well Lafayette this is so much better than what Mama had planned"

Lafayette:* smiling*" Let me guess, boyfriend, pork rinds for dinner and Hew Haw on TV?"

Hoyt: " I wish" *Tara holding the fruit tray up to Hoyt. He grabs a handful of grapes* " Thanks Tara...Anyway..... Yeah, Mama..... well... She's got an infected hang nail and wanted me to clean it."

Pam: *Looking up from her phone*: " Are you kidding?"

Hoyt: " No, ma'am." * stuffing his face* "Last week she wanted me to help her wax her bikini line but I said no"

Lafayette: * Shaking his head* " Why haven't you and Maxine been on Springer yet ?"

Bill let's out a sigh and a cough. Pam looks over at Tara and calls her over.

Pam: " Tara, I need to take pictures of Bill's hair before I shave it"

Tara: "Cool"* Walks over to Bill and starts taking pictures. Bill is not amused.

Tara: " Smile , Bill!"

Bill: " I'm not in the mood"

Tara: " Okay. Whatever. I just thought "Smiling Bill" better than "Frowning Bill"

Bill let's out a grunts. Tara rolls her eyes, takes a few more pictures and returns to the couch.

Tara: * Looks at Pam* : " He's yours now"

Bill: " Pamela, is this truly necessary?...." Pam snaps her fingers and cuts him off.

Pam: " Quit your bitching , Billy".

Suddenly Bill notices that Pam has small dimples on her cheeks. It's a something he's never noticed before.

Bill: " Ah, Pam are those dimples on your cheeks?"

Pam: " Yeah, why" * he notices her chest moving a bit when she spoke.

Bill: " Well their quite endearing"

Pam: " What the fuck are you talking about? " * calls Lafayette over* " Hey, Lala, let's get this party started"

Lafayette: " Hold on, Hooker... you're not shaving his head. I get this one"

Pam: "Excuse me? "

Lafayette: " Come baby girl, I deserve this "

Pam: * gets really close to his face, smiling* " So what do I get in return, if I let you do this?"

Bill notices Pam is just inches from Lafayette's face. Bill finds himself dreaming of what it would be like to be in Lafayette's place. Bill notices how Pam's jeans hug her body. "How is Northman not bedding this creature every night?" he thinks to himself. Bill just can't get his eyes off Pam.

Lafayette: " A spanking?"

Pam: * Giggles* " I like how you think" *Touches Lafayette's cheek* " Here you go Lala" * Hands him the clippers

Lafayette: * stands behind Bill* "Okay, Bill time for a fresh start. Ready?"

Bill  is so distracted by Pam's ass, he doesn't notice the clumps of hair falling from his head.