Bill calls Starbuck's customer service line......

Ring, Ring.......

Cheerful voice answers: "Hello and thank you for calling Starbucks Customer Service, Summer Rain speaking".

Bill: "Yes, Miss Rain this William H. Compton and I would like to speak with someone about my "True Blood Latte"".

Summer: "Certainly Mr. Compton, what can I do for you?"

Bill: "Well Miss Rain..."

Summer: "Summer , please.."

Bill: "Ah yes, Summer" (sounding a bit excited)..."Yesterday at your Establishment in Bon Temps , La. I order a....

Summer" I'm sorry Mr. Compton, which location?"

Bill: "Bon Temps"

Summer: "Yes, but which one? There are 4 in that town alone"

Bill: "Grace oh mighty.... 4? But Bon Temps only has 1500 people living there".

Summer: "Mr. Compton, a 5th one is scheduled to be opened in this fall inside a Piggly Wiggly"

Bill: "Oh, dear.... well you certainly can't stop progress. I remember when the indoor plumbing came into vogue........"

Summer: "Excuse me?"

Bill: "I'm sorry.... I'm Vampire"

Summer: "Oh, yeah True Blood Latte..right..what was that location again?"

Bill: "Ah, yes, on the corner of Spring Street and 4th"

Summer: "Got it , okay, so what was the concern with your latte"

Bill: "As I previously stated.. I'm vampire.."

Summer: "Yeah, I got that ... go on.."

Bill: "I prefer my True Blood latte to be half Type O negative and Half AB positive, extra hot. Well yesterday I was told that this would no longer be an option. I pleaded my case with your baristta, a fellow with a large numbers of tattoos and saucer like disks in his ears... as well your store manager, who seems to be about 15 years of age. Unlike that insipid Pam....( grunts)....who has trouble telling people's true age..(grunts again).....I have no trouble knowing someone's age. Well I can only say that I was not successful. Much like my civil war experience.....(sighing)"

Summer: "Well Mr. Compton, let me begin by saying how sorry I am that your experience was not a pleasant one...I do mean at Starbucks, though....Second, there really is no reason why this request could not be met"

Bill: "Yes, Summer I appreciate your most sincere apology. I must tell you that because I'm vampire, it was very difficult to keep my fangs to myself. It is very stressful, I must say"

Summer: "Well Mr. Compton, let me contact that location and explain to them this is a request can be be done. Plus I would love to be able to send you a gift card for your next visit. So if I could get your address, I can get these out to you in the mail"

Bill: "Now Summer that would be most delightful. My address is 1 Grey Sky Drive , Bon Temp, la 70000"

Summer: "Alright, I'll have those out to you this afternoon. Is there anything else I could help you with?"

Bill: "Well as matter of fact, I would like to pass on some suggestions to you,(giggling a bit) if I may?"

Summer " Yeah, of course"

Bill: " Since I'm vampire, I can not enjoy your delectable drinks and pastry like our human friends..ah.."

Summer: "Delectable treats?"

Bill: "I was thinking when you serve your True Blood latte, you should , ah, offer a shot of chum or human blood, like a shot of expersso, they way the humans enjoy".

Summer: "Expersso? Do you mean espresso? "

Bill: (laughing) "oh, pardon Moi.... Italian was not a language I mastered. Yes, espresso , my dear"

Summer "Chum shot? Human Blood? Really? "

Bill" Oh yes, that would be dele......... (breathing a bit heavy) Oh, yes, delectable.... indeed"

Summer: "Okay, Mr. Compton I will pass on your information to the correct department. Thank you for your call"

Bill: "Oh yes, Summer... it was (gasping a bit)... a delight my dear..."

**Click. Hang up**

Summer: "Freak"