Bill Compton's answering machine.......

** Please think of Bill's voice as a cross between Fog Horn Leg Horn and James Carville**

Ring, Ring, Ring..... "Ah, Hello, greetings and salutations, you have reached the ancestral home of William R. Compton. My apologizes that I am unavailable to except your most important call. If you would be so kind to leave me a brief but detailed message after the tone. I would be most honored to return your phone call...." beep......

Caller: "Yeah, Mr. Compton, this is Lola at Sunny Delight Cleaners. Your pants are ready for pick up. We got the excess blood stains and cat urine out. However our seamstress was not able to make the pants any tighter at this time. It appears the material hasn't been made since about the mid-1970's.If she were to rip it , we would not be able to replace your item. Also we can deliver your item after dark but that will be an extra $3.99 charge. Oh, please remember that we do NOT except confederate money. We ask that you NOT tip our driver with that funny money again. Our number again is 555-1636."