Bill's Makeover , Part 5

Jessica is pulling up to the drive way of Bill Compton's ancestral home. She has misfortune of having to live there. As Jessica parks her 1998 Toyota Camry, she notices Bill's BMW parked in front of her. "Dammit", she thinks. Jessica was hoping she would have a few hours alone before the makeover session. Bill had said something earlier in the week about going to see the circus in Shreveport. Apparently, during one of Bill and Loren's many "Breaks", he joined the circus. No, not as the guy who cleans up behind the elephants, which would have been a perfect job, but as a juggler.

Bill one night, in one of his "I feel like being a good maker" mood, broke out his circus balls and started juggling. Bill bore Jessica with stories such as, " You see then Mr. Barmun, himself, told me that I had a face for the circus". Jessica didn't have the heart to tell him, that was an insult.  "You see, my dear, my circus past is something that I didn't share with my darling Sookie. Not that I'm ashamed". Bill said smiling off into the distance. "I did do many good deeds, during my time. I deflowered the bearded lady . Poor thing, 59, and never had a man". He sighed as he told the story. " She was grateful for my services". This gave Jessica a full body shiver just thinking about it.

As Jessica unloaded the groceries, she realized that she had not used Bill's reusable shopping bags. "Shit", she thought, "I'm never gonna hear the end of this". Jessica let herself in the side door. She could hear Bill on his cell phone, " Yes, and how much for first class? " pause "Really? that seems like a lot. You folks at American Airlines *grunts* know we are in a recession?" Jessica laid the bags down on the counter and thought, " What a cheapskate". Bill was planning his trip to Peru. Sophie Ann, their Queen, had asked Bill to fly down there for some "research". Really, who knows what those two assholes are up too?

Just as Jessica had taken everything out of the plastic bags, Bill pipes up behind Jessica.

Bill: "Ah, my dear... are those plastic bags I see?"

Jessica * Not turning around* " Yeah, I forgot to grab the reusable one. Sorry."  *Turns around to face Bill. Give him a smile*

Bill: * Tilts his head and cracks his neck a bit*: "Now I could except your apology.. however, you know,who you need to apologize to is ? " *Nods* "That's right...  Mother Nature."

Jessica: * putting her hand together* " Okay, Al Gore....I get it."

Bill: * Moving his right index finger in a tisk, tisk motion* " Now it is this kind of attitude that has wrecked this planet... you see my dear.. because I'm vampire.... I remember what the world was like before these ..* picks up one of the bags in disgust* "plastic monsters entered our world."

Jessica: " Yeah, okay, look I forgot... I will make sure I recycle these bags at the store."

Bill: *putting his hands on her shoulders*: " The world is counting on you."

Jessica: " Yeah ,okay" *wiggles away from Bill* " I thought you were going to the circus? "

Bill: " Well, that was the plan... however.... our Queen had me working all day. " *picks up the fruit platter*" Ah, my dear, you realize as vampire... we do not eat fruit."

Jessica: " You remember the makeover is tonight?"

Bill: *Frowns and grunts* : 'Don't remind me. However, Pam doesn't eat this either... she is va..."

Jessica: " Yeah, I know.... vampire. Lafayette and Tara are coming too." * quickly walks out the kitchen*

Bill: * walking behind her* "Excuse me? "

Jessica: * gets to stairs and turns around* " Yeah, Lafayette is bring over clothes.  Tara is doing before and after pictures."

Bill: *Taping his right foot and  his hands on his waist* : " You and your "friend" Pam must think I'm ....some kind of Ken doll. "

Jessica: "Bill, if you looked like a Ken doll you'd be stylish with a bump where your penis is suppose to be." *Giggles*

Bill: "You think you're so funny? " *Frowning*

Jessica: * Raising her voice*" Trust me... you need this. You're driving me nuts! I need you start dating again. I want you out of the house more often."

Bill: " Now, now.... my child.... calm down.."

Jessica: * Her red pony tail flying around her face": Please for the love of all that is vampire... just shut up and let these people help you."

Bill: "Well technically... Pam is not a person.. because she is..."

Jessica: * Now screaming*: "Shut the fuck up! Listen this is how this is going to go down. I'm gonna go upstairs and change my clothes. You will sit on that couch and be quiet till they get here. Not a peep. Not a sound out of you. You will wear whatever Lafayette pulls out of his trunk. You will smile in any pictures Tara takes of you. And you will be polite and smile at whatever Pam says to you. And you will do whatever they tell you to do. Because after tonight I'm going to take anything that is brown and gray in your closet and I will light those up in a bonfire. You, got it?"

Bill is stunned. Never has a woman spoken to him like that. Jessica points to the red couch in the parlor and Bill goes and sits down.

Truly pathetic Bill Compton... getting served by a 17 year old. Even if she is.... Vampire.