Bill calls Lorena

Bill calls Lorena the next evening to give her a piece of his mind. Yeah, sure Bill....

Ring, ring.....

A gentlemen in a proper British voice answers Lorena's phone: " Good evening, Krasiki Residence"

Bill: "Yes, Anthony , this is William S. Compton calling for Miss Krasiki"

Anthony (pauses) : "Oh, yes, William. Well Ms. Krasiki is unavailable at this time."

Bill: " Anthony, I don't have times for Miss Krasiki's game, I must speak to her most urgently."

Anthony: "William, may I remind you... your maker prefers the title of Ms. over Miss. To quote her, "Miss is so 1959. "

Bill:( Raising his voice) "Enough of these shenanigans , Anthony... I must speak with Lorena at once"

Anthony: "Hang on." (mumbles to himself) "Asshole"

After waiting a few minutes, Lorena comes to the phone.

Lorena: "This better be good Billy. I'm in the middle of  "Project Runway"."

Bill: "Lorena, I need to know why you sent me that Muffin Basket. Plus you left me some lovely dovey message on my answering machine."

Lorena: "What? I can't be nice? I should be pissed at you considering you twisted my neck the last time we hooked up. My chiropractor said you messed up my alignment."

Bill: " What is it that you desire from me at this time? Because quite frankly.... Lorena.... my Rolodex is quite full these days and my calendar is busting at the seams."

Lorena: "Who are you fooling? Number one, who the hell uses a Rolodex anymore? Those things went out with Monica Lewnisky jokes. Number 2, calendar busting at the seams? Yeah, sure. Like your pants."

Bill: " Now, now.... may I remind you ... that it was you who said my back side was made for tights pants."

Lorena: (laughing loudly)"Yeah, stupid......... in the 1970's."

Bill grunts into the phone. Lorena laughs for another minute.

Lorena: "Look Billy, I do want something..."

Bill: "I knew it! Your dastardly harlot! "

Lorena: "You are so 1867... Look I need to switch time share weeks."

Bill: "Our place in Anchorage? "

Lorena: "Yeah, I could use a vacation and the week of New Year's seems  perfect. The days are shorter. There are plenty of men and Mama could use a little fun."

Bill: "What if I have plans for New Year's?"

Lorena: "You can watch Dick Clark in Bon Temps."

Bill: "How dare you? You know I'm single at the present moment.... However, I know that I will not be alone on New Year's."

Lorena: (Playing with her hair and rolling her eyes) " Can I have the week or not?"

Bill: (Grunts) "Fine. "

Lorena : (Smiling) 'Thank you.... (blows a kiss).... My little southern fried grit."

Bill: "I hate it when you call me that."

Lorena: "No, you don't."

Click.